


Not knowing is the Worst

by silvermoongirl10



Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: Family, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-12
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2018-01-04 23:32:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvermoongirl10/pseuds/silvermoongirl10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny and Jamie arrange to meet up after Jamie's shift, but something goes wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The day started out like any other Monday, but by the end of it Danny never wanted to live it, or anything like it again. It ranked high up on the days that would haunt Danny for the rest of his life. And no this was not the day Joe died, but a day when something happened to Jamie. Danny had to go through a whole day of uncertainty, and not understanding or knowing what happened, how could this happen? How could Jamie just seem to disappear of the face of the earth?

* * *

 

_24 hours earlier (Sunday dinner)_

"Hey kid pass the potatoes" said Danny,

"Don't you think you've got enough? There won't be much left for the rest of us!" protested Jamie who was sat across from Danny.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"What I said was pretty self-explanatory"

"Uncle Jamie is right dad, you've got _way_ too much potatoes!" added Jack,

Danny just gaped at his eldest son who was to his right and then turned to Jamie, "great, thanks for that Jamie now my kid thinks I eat too many potatoes"

"Well it's true!" exclaimed Jack,

"That it is Jack, that it is" said Jamie, then simultaneously Jamie and Jack leaned across the table and high-fived each other. Much to the amusement of the family, well except for Danny, he just huffed in annoyance and continued eating in silence.

* * *

After dinner Jamie and the boys were playing basketball when Danny came out to join them.

"What you guys doing?" asked Danny,

Jamie stopped for a moment and said confused as wasn't it obvious what they were doing? "Uh… playing basketball"

Danny took the opportunity of Jamie pause and yanked the ball off him and scored "works every time!"

"Danny!"

"Dad that's not good sportsmanship!" complained Sean,

"Take every opportunity you can get Sean"

"Danny you don't need to go after the ball like it's a potato!" joked Jamie,

Danny narrowed his eyes at Jamie and lunged knocking Jamie onto his back on the nearby grass, Danny then began tickling Jamie without mercy,

"Danny! ... Get off!" laughed Jamie,

"Consider this revenge kid!"

Jack and Sean then came up behind Danny and managed to push him off Jamie and began tickling him saying "you don't need to attack Uncle Jamie because it's not like he ate all the potatoes!"

Jamie just stood laughing,

"Jamie a little help here!"

"Nah I'm good" shrugged Jamie,

Eventually the boys got off their dad and resumed their basketball match and Jamie helped Danny up.

"So what tour you working tomorrow?" asked Danny as he and Jamie made their way onto the back porch,

"I'm working the graveyard shift tonight and have the next two days off" replied Jamie,

"Well if you want we could meet up later tomorrow about one?"

"Yeah that sounds good"

Danny patted Jamie's shoulder and called his boys to go home. What neither brother knew was that Jamie would not be meeting up with Danny at one o'clock the next day.


	2. Chapter 2

It was midday and Jamie was still on shift, he was supposed to clock off at 7am but something had come up and he was needed to stay on another six hours. He would finish his extra half shift at the time he was supposed to meet up with Danny, so when he had a spare moment he called his older brother.

"Hey kid what's up?"

"Gonna have to meet you at half one instead"

"Why? I thought you were already off shift" asked a confused Danny,

"I should be, but something came up and Renzulli and I with a few others working the graveyard shift were needed to work another six hours, so I'll be clocking off at one"

"You sure you want to meet up today? It's fine with me if you want to, you deserve a good sleep" said Danny,

"Nah I'm good, I get to work the afternoon shift on Thursday instead of the morning one and I still have my two days off to catch up on sleep"

"Well if you're sure"

"Yeah I'm sure; you know what I'm like. Even if I'm exhausted I can't go to sleep halfway through the day"

"Ok kid see you at 1:30" laughed Danny, ever since Jamie had been little he could have been dead on his feet but he could never get to sleep unless it was the morning or evening.

"See you later" said Jamie,

"Yeah see ya, bye" and Danny hung up; not knowing what was to happen in a couple of hours.

* * *

 

**1:30**

Danny was sat at the bar he and Jamie drank at, ordered a beer and waited for Jamie to arrive.

**1:50**

Jamie had not yet arrived, Danny just told himself that Jamie must be running late, when Jamie was tired he generally moved slower so Danny kept himself from worrying.

**2:00**

Danny was trying to stop himself from worrying, but something wasn't right. _He's just late that's all_ thought Danny. _But why hasn't he called or text me? He always does if he's late_ , Danny checked his phone to see if Jamie had called or text and he had missed it. Nothing. Danny called Jamie's cell phone and got 'I'm sorry the person you are calling-' he hung up and thought _his phone must have died. That's it, that's all there is to it_.

**2:10**

Danny had had enough, he decided to make the walk to the 12th and ask the desk Sergeant if Jamie had been held up. Danny would have called his dad to ask if something major was going on that could explain Jamie's lateness, but Frank was out of town for some conference or other. Something in the back of his mind said there was something wrong going on, Danny wasn't sure what it was. He was going to have words with Jamie about causing him unnecessary worry, because really that was all there was to it. Nothing had happened to Jamie, there was _no_ reason to worry.

**2:20**

Danny arrived at the 12th almost an hour after he was supposed to meet up with Jamie. He walked over to where Jamie went for roll call and saw Jamie's Captain.

"Captain Lewis" Danny got Lewis's attention as he would have an idea of what was going on.

Lewis looked around and saw Danny; the look on Lewis's face didn't sit right with Danny.

"Detective Reagan what brings you here?" Lewis was nervous about something and Danny's arrival had worried him. Why? Wondered Danny.

"I was supposed to meet up with my brother at 1:30 and when he was late I tried calling him but there was no answer and I just wanted to check that he was ok"

Lewis sighed and motioned for Danny to follow him into his office, "Detective Reagan…"

"Sir?"

"Your brother, Officer Reagan and his partner Sergeant Renzulli were due to clock in after shift at one o'clock as I am sure you know. Neither of them have clocked off shift. We thought they had been held up, but when they were a further half an hour we contacted them on their radios but their radios weren't working, then like you we called their cell phones, no answer. We located their squad car"

"And?" asked Danny,

"Nothing. They weren't anywhere nearby, their off the grid"

Danny gaped at Lewis, off the grid. Jamie was missing and he had just sat at the bar thinking everything was ok, when it wasn't!

"Does the Commissioner know?" asked Danny not wanting to imagine how his father may react.

"We contacted one of his aid's and are awaiting further orders"

"What have you been doing in the meantime?" asked Danny, trying to get into Detective mode.

"We have been retracing their movements, but have come to a dead end, so we are trying to find witnesses and CCTV footage, but they are still very much off the grid".


	3. Chapter 3

Ten minutes after Danny arrived at the 12th Frank had called Captain Lewis, after being updated Frank told Lewis to continue with what he was doing in trying to locate Jamie and Renzulli by retracing their movements. After hanging up with Lewis Frank called Danny thinking he would have to tell Danny that Jamie was missing, not knowing Danny was already at the 12th and knew what was happening.

"Hi dad"

"Danny, I'm not sure how to tell you this, Jamie is-"

"Missing, I know"

"What?" asked Frank confused, "how do you know?"

"I was supposed to meet up with him for a drink at 1:30, he didn't show and he hadn't called or text me, so at 2:10 I walked over to the 12th to find out if everything was ok and that's when Captain Lewis updated me"

"So you're helping find out what happened?"

"Yeah, and I'm also going to help find Jamie and Renzulli"

"Ok good, I know you'll do your best and find them. And I'm on my way back now"

"Ok bye dad"

"Bye Danny"

While on the phone Frank had barely been able to hold it together, it was a serious situation having two cops just disappear. But one of those of cops was his son, he knew Jamie was an adult, but to Frank he was still his baby. The youngest who needed his older brothers to help scare of bullies and his older sister to help with Law homework and his whole family cheering him on at basketball matches. It was still hard for Frank to get used to having his son walking a beat and more or less on the frontline. Fortunately in Jamie's couple years on the force nothing serious had happened to him, yes being shoved down some stairs was bad but Jamie had only come away with some cuts and bruises, but now he was missing. Somewhere in the city not able to contact anyone, Frank concentrated on Jamie being alive and nothing else.

* * *

 

It was now three o'clock, it had been two hours since Jamie and Renzulli hadn't clocked off shift. So far there was nothing on their location, all Danny had was that Jamie and Renzulli had checked in via radio at the required time of 12:45, their location had been near Canal Street. So they had disappeared within 15 minutes. Danny and Jackie headed out to where Jamie's and Renzulli's squad car had been found, in the hope of finding witnesses.

* * *

 

**Earlier that day – 12:45**

Renzulli had just checked in with the precinct, and he and Jamie were making the short walk back to their squad car. When the sound of shattering glass caught their attention.

"Reagan"

"On it Sarge" replied Jamie as he drew his gun and moved forward with Renzulli, they came to the end of an alley and saw two men jumping out of a window with something in a duffel bag. The two men spotted them so they gave chase.

They rounded a corner of the alley and saw a door close, so they headed towards the door with caution. They stood either side of the door and Renzulli nodded at Jamie who then opened the door and they both stepped into the pitch black room. Suddenly they heard the unmistakeable click of a gun's safety being taken off.

"Put your guns on the floor and move away from them slowly with your arms raised" said a voice from behind them and they had no choice but to obey. When they moved away from their guns, one man turned on the lights; they were wearing ski masks and had a tall build. Jamie looked around and saw they were in a room with no windows and stairs in one corner leading to a basement, one of the men picked up their guns and then he said "give me your cell phones and radios"

Jamie and Renzulli hesitated and were rewarded with the man yelling "hand them over NOW!" so Renzulli and Jamie with still one arm raised fished in their pockets for their cell phones and handed them over and then disconnected their radios from their uniforms. The men turned off their cell phones and radios and left them in the room and turned to Jamie and Renzulli and said "move towards the stairs and go down them". Once they reached the basement the men had them walk through all the connected basements and then out through a back door and into another building and through all the basements, this repeated another four times and in between each building they weaved through all the back alleys it seemed to take ages, they then left a building and got into a van, Jamie and Renzulli got into the back and were driven somewhere.

Jamie looked at his watch and saw it was 1:35; he should have meet Danny now. He hoped Danny would realize something was wrong soon. Although realistically Jamie knew it would be very hard for anyone to find them now, even Danny who was one of the best Detectives on the force. _Please Danny you have to find us!_


	4. Chapter 4

Danny and Jackie headed to Jamie's and Renzulli's last known location, they passed a T.V store and on the screens was a news report reporting the disappearance of two NYPD officers. Jamie and Renzulli. Danny stopped for a moment and looked at Jamie's photo, looking at the photo he could see Jamie's excitement at becoming a cop in his eyes; they had seemed to light up. Danny felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to face Jackie,

"We'll find him Danny don't worry"

"I know we will, but it doesn't stop me wishing he had stayed in Law, but I can't deny he seemed to get bored of it quickly and being a cop seems to be what he loves doing"

Jackie nodded and they continued on to their destination. Almost straight away after arriving at the scene where some uniformed officers were asking for information an Officer who knew Danny was Jamie's brother beckoned Jackie and Danny over.

"Detective you need to hear this" said the Officer,

"Hear what?" asked Danny unsuccessfully keeping his voice neutral,

The Officer turned to a woman stood next to him, "tell Detective Reagan exactly what you told me"

"Well" the woman began, "When I was walking to visit my mother I noticed two police officers walking towards their car and then watched as they chased after two men in ski masks down the alley. Half an hour later when I left my mother's I saw the police car was still in the same place and the officers weren't anywhere nearby and when I came out just now and saw all these other police officers speaking to people I figured something must have happened to the other police officers".

Danny and Jackie thanked the woman and made their way over to the alley she saw Jamie and Renzulli run down and sure enough they saw broken glass. So they got the other officers in the area to canvas the area starting with the buildings around the alley.

10 minutes later Jackie and Danny entered a building which brought Danny's heart to his mouth. There in the centre of the room were two cell phones and two police issued radios.

"Jack, they were here"

"I know you think they were here Danny but first we got to check that it really was them here"

Danny went over to the cell phones when Jackie canvased the room, Danny bent down and picked up the cell phone that looked like Jamie's. He turned it on and saw for the background it was a photo of him and Jamie last Christmas. "It's Jamie's Jack, he was here" Danny chocked out looking around the room desperately hoping for a sign where Jamie was.

"Danny" Jackie came walking over holding two glock 17 pistols, the type of pistols the force used. Danny was glad in one way because now he had somewhere to start his search for his younger brother, but another part of him was worried about Jamie had gotten himself involved in. Looking around the room both Jackie and Danny came to the decision that the only way the group could have gotten away without being seen was going down the stairs to the basement, when reaching the basement they saw it was connected to other basements of the buildings on the block. Jackie went back upstairs to get some of the other Officers to help them locate Jamie and Renzulli. Danny stayed standing in the basement, looking at Jamie's cell phone and thinking about what thoughts were running through Jamie's mind. Was he scared? Angry? Unsure of how to get away? Confused to what was happening? All of those thoughts and feelings rolled into one?

Jackie returned with some of the other Officers and they walked through all of the basements while the rest of the Officers checked the buildings above the basements. At the end of the row of basements they found a back door and Danny hoped he would find Jamie on the other side of the door or at the very least a clue as to where to look next. However, when he opened the door almost enthusiastically he was disappointed to find nothing.

"Damn it!" exclaimed Danny kicking a nearby can. Ignoring all the sympathetic glances directed his way. "Check all nearby buildings for any sign where they could have gone" ordered Danny, none of the Officer complained about how long that would take, when one member of the force was in danger let alone two everyone banded together to help their fellow cops. But they all felt horrible for Danny, it wasn't a best friend of his that had gone missing, it was his younger brother and he had already lost one brother to the job. None of them wanted to see Danny lose his only brother left.

After another 20 minutes of desperate searching for anything that could lead him to his brother, Danny was almost near tearing his hair out in pure frustration and desperation. _Where can he be? Jamie where are you kid?_ Thought Danny.

"Danny!" called Jackie, Danny ran over and looked at the door she pointed at, it looked as if it had been kicked in. Could they have found the men's next escape route? It made sense, after speaking to people in the area which none of whom had seen anything, it was logical that the group had gone this way. Just as Danny was about to dash into the basements again hoping Jamie maybe on the other side of the door, the same Officer from before ran up to him and called.

"Detective!"

"What?" asked Danny impatiently,

"I just got word from the Captain, after seeing the news report someone came forward with information and said they saw two men with two police officers come out from a basement and get into a van before driving away."

"Where was this?" asked Danny only just restraining himself from grabbing hold of the Officer's uniform in desperation.

"Six blocks away, the Captain was you to head back to the 12th so when they've found where the van went with CCTV footage you can head out and find them"

Danny nodded his thanks before running over to a waiting squad car that would take Danny and Jackie back to the 12th.

* * *

 

**Meanwhile… (4pm – three hours since Jamie and Renzulli went missing)**

Jamie and Renzulli were pulled from the van hours ago. They were on a bank near a bunch of warehouses which must have been next to the Hudson River, they were pushed into a warehouse and then into the office at the back. They were shoved to the floor and helped each other sit up against the wall and were told not to speak, so when the men left the office Jamie turned to Renzulli and asked.

"You ok Sarge?"

"About as well as I can be under the circumstances. You?"

"About the same. I hope whoever is looking for us finds us soon"

"Yeah me to, think Danny is with them?"

"Probably seeing as I was supposed to meet up with him earlier and knowing Danny he will get himself on the case" smiled Jamie, before Renzulli could reply the men came to the door of the office and were whispering but Jamie caught some of what they were saying.

"What are we going to do with them?"

"Get rid of them"

"How?"

"How do you think? We near a river, we just make them disappear"


	5. Chapter 5

By the time Danny and Jackie got back to the 12th the van had already been found at a warehouse near a dock at the Hudson River by using the CCTV cameras on every street it went down. On his way out of the 12th again Danny spotted his dad coming out of Captain Lewis's office. He nodded at Frank in conformation that he was going to bring Jamie back.

Danny, Jackie, Captain Lewis, a handful of Officers, a SWAT team and Frank with his detail all made the trip to the warehouse.

It was decided that once they got to the warehouse Danny should try and talk to the masked men and work a deal with them that would rescue Jamie and Renzulli.

* * *

 

Danny walked to the entrance of the warehouse and called out "this is Detective Reagan; we know you're in there and are holding two police officers. We are prepared to make a deal with you if you let the Officers go"

Danny could see one of the men approach the door and he replied "come in slowly and we'll talk"

* * *

 

Jamie turned and looked at Renzulli and smiled. Danny was here everything was going to be ok!

* * *

 

Danny walked into the warehouse office; he saw Jamie and Renzulli sat in a corner far away from the door. One of the men patted him down and took his gun,

"We're allowing one of them to go with you. The other stays with us, you can go over to them and choose which one goes with you. Try any funny business and all three of you die" the man pushed Danny towards Jamie and Renzulli. How was he going to pick between Renzulli and Jamie? Of course he wanted to pick Jamie, but what would happen to Renzulli if he left him behind? Even if it only took him a little while to come back with back up. This was one of the most painful things Danny had to do.

Danny sat in front of Jamie and Renzulli, the look on their faces showed they had heard.

"Danny take Jamie and go" urged Renzulli.

Jamie's head snapped around to Renzulli, "Sarge!-"

"No Jamie. Go with Danny"

Danny watched as Jamie opened and closed his mouth with a pained expression, "but Sarge"

"No buts Jamie, get up and go with Danny"

"No Sarge you go with Danny"

"Jamie-"

"No Sarge I've made my mind up"

"So have I, Danny take Jamie otherwise he won't go"

"Sarge" said Danny,

Renzulli looked at Danny and said "go"

Danny nodded stood up and reached for Jamie, who moved away from him. So Danny hooked his arms under Jamie's arms and hoisted Jamie up, Jamie began to struggle "Danny let go! Sarge!" called Jamie as Danny dragged him away from Renzulli. "Danny let me go!"

"He made his choice Jamie, respect his decision" said Danny, he didn't like this anymore than Jamie, but he wouldn't leave Jamie behind, he couldn't. Renzulli had made it easier for him, but unfortunately not for Jamie.

The men watched as Danny headed towards the office door with a struggling Jamie, "Sarge!" cried Jamie, as he saw Renzulli close his eyes and leant his head against the wall. Renzulli hated hearing Jamie's calls for him, but it had to be done. Jamie was still young and had his whole life ahead of him, at least he had lived most of his compared to Jamie, but he was also taking the coward's way out in his opinion. If he was killed by the men, he was making Jamie live his life with Renzulli's death haunting him and Renzulli didn't think he would be able to live his life if he let Jamie stay and most likely be killed.

Jamie wriggled out of Danny's grip and faced the men "Detective Reagan is taking Sergeant Renzulli and I'm staying here" Renzulli snapped his eyes open and tried to protest but was cut off when one of the men pulled him up and pushed him to Danny.

Danny, while helping Renzulli to regain his balance faced Jamie and said, "Jamie"

Jamie looked back and said "one of us has to stay and it might as well be me"

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Renzulli,

"Sarge you got your kids to think of, me I don't have a wife, kids or even a girlfriend to think of" replied Jamie,

"What about the rest of the family Jamie? What about them?" whispered Danny,

"It'll get easier for them Danny and I'm a cop, there's always a risk of not coming home, they know that" Jamie hated saying it, but he had to get Danny to leave with Renzulli and what he was saying was true.

"Jamie… I already lost Joe… I can't lose you to" chocked out Danny, trying to stop the tears forming in his eyes from escaping. "What am I supposed to tell dad?"

"Tell him it was my choice to stay behind, and tell him not to blame himself. It was my choice to leave Law and become a cop and tell him I'm sorry" Jamie said softly,

"Jamie-"

"Alright get moving before I start shooting" ordered one of the men as he pushed Danny and Renzulli out of the door, Danny looked back at Jamie and watched as the other man pulled him out of the office back door and out of Danny's sight. Once Danny and Renzulli were out the office the other man ran after his partner and Jamie. Danny and Renzulli ran out the warehouse to tell the backup that Jamie needed to be rescued; Danny reached outside and immediately looked for his dad. Frank came over with a stricken look on his face.

"Dad-"

"I know Danny; we tapped into the office CCTV"

Renzulli came over and said "sir I'm so sorry-"

"Not your fault Tony" assured Frank; Renzulli was taken over to a waiting ambulance to get checked out despite his assurances he was fine, he wanted to help rescue Jamie but the EMT's weren't having any of it. Danny gathered a few SWAT members and had the team split up, he took the right side with some of the team when Jackie took the other half around the left side. Danny went around the warehouse to the dock to get his brother back if it was the last thing he did.

* * *

 

Danny looked around the edge of the building to see Jamie had now had his hands tied behind his back. The men were arguing about something he couldn't hear, Jamie thought he could try and escape knowing his brother and backup were just on the other side of the warehouse and undoubtedly already heading his way to rescue him.

Unfortunately the men weren't that distracted and pulled Jamie back towards them, but Jamie wasn't going to play ball, he wasn't going to risk his father losing another son and Danny losing another brother. So he fought back, but the leader of the pair wacked Jamie around the head with his gun, Danny could only watch as Jamie stumbled back and fell into the Hudson River behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

"JAMIE!" shouted Danny, the men turned towards him and the SWAT team around the other side of the warehouse dealt with them as Danny ran to the edge of the river, he peered over the edge in the hope Jamie had been able to keep his head above the water. No such luck and ignoring Jackie's call for him to wait Danny dived into the cold water.

Danny couldn't see much in the murky water, he could barely see his hand in front of him. He turned around in the water desperately searching for any sign of Jamie. Jamie had always been a good swimmer, but he had his hands tied behind him and had suffered a blow to the head. Danny saw a silhouette to his right and swam that way ignoring the burning sensation in his lungs which were desperate for air, but Danny was more desperate for his brother then he was for his lungs need for air.

* * *

 

Even in Jamie's dazed state he felt the whoosh of air behind him as he fell into the River, he even caught a glance of Danny's shocked face before he fell below the bank and crashed into the ice cold and murky water. The shock of the cold caused Jamie to open his mouth and inhale a mouthful of water, which made him splutter and that only made it worse. He felt himself drift not far from the surface but found he didn't have the energy to pull himself up and the weight of his uniform only caused to drag him slowly down.

Before he lost consciousness he felt the water shift as if something heavy had hit the water, the last image he thought of was Danny's pained expression as Danny had to leave him in the warehouse.

 _I'm sorry Danny, I tried my best it just wasn't enough. I'm so sorry_. Just as Jamie blacked out he had no idea Danny was just about to grab his arm and pull him to safety.

* * *

 

Danny was relieved to find that the silhouette was Jamie. So Danny grabbed Jamie's arms and pulled with all his might, he gasped for air as he broke the surface he pulled air greedily into his lungs and at the same time that he broke the surface he spun onto his back to keep Jamie's head above the water. He was disheartened to see Jamie was deathly pale, and when he leaned closer to Jamie he saw Jamie wasn't breathing.

"Jackie! Get the EMT's over here fast! He's not breathing!" called Danny,

When he reached the bank hands came down and pulled Jamie upwards, Danny reluctantly let Jamie go only because he knew it was the only chance Jamie had of surviving. Another pair of hands helped pull him out of the water and put a blanket around his shoulders. He didn't acknowledge the person who helped him, he ran the couple of feet over to Jamie. Jamie's hands had been untied and an Officer was currently performing CPR on him.

Danny knelt next to Jamie and pleaded "please Jamie fight! You have to fight!"

* * *

 

Jamie was aware of muffled voices and when he opened his eyes he saw he wasn't in the river anymore he was stood by the bank where he fell in. But he was the only person there, but he did hear voices, every now and then he heard his name. Just once he heard Danny plead "please Jamie fight!"

 _Why do I need to fight? Where is everyone?_ Wondered Jamie, he turned around trying to see if anyone was nearby. That's when he saw the only person standing near him was no other than Joe.

"Joe?"

Joe nodded with a solemn look on his face.

"Am I dead?" whispered Jamie,

"No you're not. Well not yet anyway"

"Huh?" asked Jamie momentarily forgetting that he was speaking to his dead brother.

"Well technically you are dead, but you still have a choice"

"A choice of what?"

"Whether you want to go back or not"

"Why am I being given a choice?"

"Because it's not your time and you still have much to accomplish"

"Like what?"

"Just go back Jamie; it's not your time. Danny couldn't cope with losing another brother and could you be happy knowing you had caused him that loss when you had a chance to go back but you didn't" then Joe began to fade along with the area surrounding them.

"But Joe!-" called Jamie,

"Jamie open your eyes, come on Jamie!" called a voice, it took Jamie a second to recognise the voice, it was Danny.

Jamie still turned around looking for Joe calling "Joe come back!"

* * *

 

Danny watched as Jamie drew in a breath and then Jamie whispered "Joe come back!"

Danny looked at Jamie in shock, what did Jamie mean by calling for Joe to come back? Danny was distracted from his thoughts when Jamie's eyes flickered open, Jamie looked confused and so Danny leant forward so he would be in Jamie's line of sight.

"Danny?" asked Jamie as his eyes darted around as if he was looking for someone,

"It's ok Jamie, it's all going to be ok" soothed Danny as he placed a hand on Jamie's forehead to comfort Jamie and to also reassure himself that Jamie was alive.

Jamie looked up and asked "what about the men?" he then coughed up some of the water he had swallowed.

"We got them, don't worry and their going away for a long time" smiled Danny for what seemed the first time since this whole mess started.

Jamie relaxed and sighed in relief, but in doing so allowed for the shivers to start, which made his coughing worse. Danny was about to pull off his blanket and give it to Jamie but was stopped by a glare from Jackie who was nearby. Just then an ambulance came around the corner and two EMT's rushed over followed by Frank and Renzulli.

When Frank saw Jamie lying on the floor and from his view he couldn't see if Jamie was awake, his heart skipped a beat, he hadn't lost Jamie had he? He couldn't lose Jamie. As he neared his sons Jamie's head turned towards him, Jamie was wet, soaked, how had that happened? And Danny was wet as well.

"Danny why are you both wet?" asked Frank as he knelt beside Jamie on the other side to Danny.

"Well Jamie decided in order to escape he needed to take a little swim" joked Danny, it was the only way Danny could stop himself from reflecting on what might have been if he was even thirty seconds later in getting Jamie out of the river. Frank caught his meaning, Jamie had fallen in the river and Danny had saved him.

Renzulli was hanging back, he relaxed knowing Jamie was ok. Yes Jamie had to spend the night at the hospital because of his hypothermia which was most likely moderate, but Jamie was alive that was the main thing.

Jamie was put on a stretcher and put into the ambulance; Danny was going with him as he needed to be checked over for being in the freezing river as well. Frank watched the ambulance pull away carrying his sons to the hospital, Frank had Garret to fetch his father, if Jamie was spending the night at the hospital then so was he. He also knew his father would want to be there as well.

* * *

 

In the ambulance Danny gripped Jamie's hand, and gripped his in return while giving Danny a small smile.

"Jamie"

"Yeah?" replied Jamie hoarsely, his throat had started to hurt from all his coughing.

"Just before you regained consciousness you said 'Joe come back', what did you mean by that?"

"When I blacked out in the river I found myself back on the bank and Joe was there"

"And?" asked Danny, he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what Jamie was going to say.

"I asked him if I was dead and he said I was in the middle. Joe told me it wasn't my time and I had the choice to come back"

Yep. Danny didn't want to hear that, it just showed how close he came to losing another brother. "Well I'm glad you came back"

"Me to" smiled Jamie, before his eyes slipped closed, Danny looked at the EMT sat beside him and he said "it's ok, his body needs to rest he's not in any danger" Danny nodded and sent thanks to Joe, _thanks for sending Jamie back Joe, I don't know what I would of done if I had lost him._


	7. Chapter 7

It had been a tiring night for Danny. He spent the night at the hospital at Jamie's bedside, Frank and Henry would disappear for coffee now and then but Danny never left the room. Which was fortunate one time, Jamie had been restless all night, he couldn't seem to get to sleep and when he did his sleep was plagued by nightmares. Frank and Henry had gone for coffee and Danny almost went with them but decided to stay with Jamie, five minutes after Frank and Henry had left Jamie began to moan and shift in his sleep. In the midst of a nightmare and all Danny could do was sit and wait it out, if it got bad Danny would wake Jamie up, but ideally he didn't want to knowing Jamie needed his sleep to make a full recovery quickly as he knew Jamie would not want to stay off work longer than he deemed necessary.

But Jamie started to squirm and mutter, Danny only caught pieces of what Jamie was saying.

"Stop… leave him alone… don't… let him go… no… please… NO!" Danny couldn't take anymore and gently shook Jamie's shoulder,

"Jamie wake up"

Jamie's eyes snapped open and he tried to move away from Danny, "hey kid it's me, it's just me"

"Danny?"

"Yeah, you ok?"

"Fine"

"Really?"

"Of course"

"Jamie"

"Why ask if you're sure you know the answer"

"Stop deflecting, now what's going on in that head of yours?"

"Just remembering what happened"

"I'm sorry Jamie, so sorry" sighed Danny as he bent his head looking at the floor,

"What for?"

"I should have found you quicker"

"Danny you did the best you could"

"No, we got the second building and then got the call about the van; we wasted time by going back to the 12th"

"Danny you had no idea where the van went you had to go back to get the location on the van"

"But as soon as we got to the 12th they had already got the location"

"Danny even if you had got the warehouse quicker it wouldn't have made any difference"

"But-"

"Danny by the time you even found the building where Renzulli and I got taken we were already at the warehouse"

"You're not making apologizing easy you know" said Danny as he lifted his head to look at Jamie,

"Good because there's nothing to apologize for" stated Jamie looking Danny in the eye.

A comfortable silence lasted for a few minutes before Jamie said "Danny"

"Yeah"

"Did you find out why those men took me and Renzulli?"

"Yeah I did"

"And?" prompted Jamie, this had been nagging away at him for some time. Had they interrupted the men? Had it been planned to ambush them?

"You and Renzulli happened to come across them and they thought they had lost you when you gave chase, but when you followed them into the room they didn't want to be caught"

"So?"

"So they had the brilliant idea to take you with them" said Danny with his voice dripping sarcasm.

"Well at least we didn't walk into an ambush" yawned Jamie,

"Go to sleep Jamie, you need to rest" Jamie just nodded and fell back asleep almost immediately. Any tiredness Danny may have been feeling vanished when Jamie said they were fortunate not to walk into an ambush. Danny thought Jamie was lucky to have just happened across the men, because if it had been a planned ambush… it wasn't worth thinking about, one thing was for sure if it had been a planned ambush Jamie wouldn't be lying asleep in front of him. Danny would have now been searching for his younger brother's body and may have had no hope in catching the men, but it wouldn't have meant Danny wouldn't have tried to find them, he had already gone through with that after the death of Joe, he didn't want to go through anything similar with Jamie that was for sure.

* * *

 

Jamie had been released from the hospital after a 24 hour stay, much to his annoyance. Danny had to try and hide his amusement; Jamie had never liked being cooped up somewhere even if it was for his own good. He would be staying with Frank and Henry until he returned to work in two days, again much to his frustration, but no matter how much he protested and assured the older men he would be fine in his apartment it all fell on deaf ears.

So it was late Tuesday afternoon when Jamie walked through his father's front door intending to go up to his old room and sleep the rest of the day away. No such luck. The rest of the family had gathered to see for themselves that he was ok. _This is so not my week_ thought Jamie, he loved his family dearly, but at times like this when they were worried about him he just wanted to turn and run, hide himself in his room and barricade the door. Mainly from Erin and Linda, but Nikki was soon joining the list as she was starting to fuss over hurt members of the family now, much like her mother and aunt.

"Jamie!" exclaimed Erin as she hurried over to him, Jamie inwardly groaned, _here we go_. Danny smirked from where he was standing, he knew what Erin and Linda could be like and he may have felt a little sorry for Jamie but he was not going to stand in the way of the Reagan women from making sure Jamie was in one peace.

Jamie turned to Danny just before Erin got to him, "Danny help"

Danny shook his head, "you're on your own kid"

"Coward"

"In this circumstance I'm not embarrassed to deny it"

Erin reached Jamie and pulled him in for a hug, "are you ok?"

"I wouldn't be out of the hospital with I wasn't"

Erin gently slapped Jamie "alright smartass"

Jamie just laughed; it took half an hour for everyone to have convinced themselves that Jamie was ok and in that time Jamie felt his energy draining. His movements became sluggish so when he saw an opportunity he made for the stairs and into his room, he just collapsed on his bed not even bothering to get under the covers.

Almost immediately after Jamie had gone upstairs Danny noticed his brother was missing and so did Erin.

"Do think he's ok? I should go check on him"

"Leave him alone Erin"

"Well I'm sorry if I want to make sure my brother is ok"

"He's fine Erin he just needs to sleep and not have everyone checking on him all the time and waking him up"

Erin let the matter drop, but she still cast a worried glance towards the stairs. When Danny saw a chance he went upstairs, not to check on Jamie in the sense Erin wanted to, he just wanted to make sure Jamie was sleeping peacefully.

He got to Jamie's room and had to smile. Jamie was sprawled across the side of his bed with one of his legs hanging over the edge, telling Danny Jamie was very tired and hadn't even properly made it to the bed before falling asleep. Danny quietly crept up to the bed and shift Jamie so he was lying on the bed properly and even got Jamie under the covers without waking Jamie. He gently ran his fingers through Jamie's hair like he used to do when they were younger (not that anyone knew about it, not even Jamie).

"Have a good sleep Jamie, see you later" Danny then turned and left.

* * *

 

Jamie was relieved to finally be back at work, he still would have bad cough now and then from having swallowed some water and he would also get a bad headache from the blow to his head. But there was no stopping him from getting back on his beat; it was where he loved to be. He walked into the locker room and saw Renzulli was the only one in there.

"Hey Sarge"

Renzulli spun around at hearing Jamie's voice, "Reagan I didn't think you'd be back today"

"Well I was getting bored and having my grandpa wait hand and foot on me, well I can only take so much"

"Yeah you're the type of person who likes to be on their feet"

Jamie frowned there was something off with Renzulli, he couldn't describe what or how he knew, he just did. "What's wrong Sarge?"

"What do you mean? Why would there be anything wrong?" Said Renzulli seriously.

Jamie tried to lighten the mood by saying "because I got an extra day off when you didn't"

Jamie's smile disappeared when Renzulli replied, "why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Now don't play that game with me Reagan, you know what. I told you to leave with Danny and you don't, you have to go and take my place and I want to know why!"

"I explained when we were there"

"I've lived most of my life; you still got yours ahead of you"

"Sarge what would your kids have done if you hadn't made it home?" Jamie then decided to try and lighten the mood again "and anyway Sarge aren't you a little old to go swimming in the river?"

Renzulli smiled and said "shut your mouth Reagan before I hit you" Jamie laughed and was soon joined by Renzulli.

* * *

 

Jamie was on a break when his cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi Jamie it's me"

"Oh hi Danny something wrong?"

"No I just thought after your tour we could go for a drink"

"Well I don't know"

"Something come up?"

"No"

"Then what's up?"

"The last time we arranged to meet up after my tour I went missing for a few hours! So why don't we meet up after _your_ tour?"


End file.
